You can leave your hat on...

So... New Year in Hawaii... Brilliant idea!! Except for the fact that I decided to meet a guy there... a guy from Alaska, that I had met in Bahia. Well, the strange element in this is not that he lives in Alaska, certainly. What is bizarre is me willing to meet a guy that I already "knew pretty well". Seriously. I myself could not understand what was going on in my mind.

Well, never mind. What matters is it definitely wasn´t a good idea. Before I could say "sex" I was already the girlfriend. And it already looked pretty bad. I knew I had to find a way to deal with it: what was I supposed to do, throw the guy in the middle of the Pacific?

So we went out to dinner with a couple of his friends that were there - ahhhhhh! I swear I wanted to stick the chopsticks in obscure places just so I could get away!!! But I lived through it, we got out. Finally! But he wanted to get back to the hotel, and that I could not do. So I had a brilliant idea: let´s go clubbing, see the sites, sit in a bar, anything. So we headed to Chinatown! Except that Chinatown in Honolulu is not Chinatown in New York - at 10 p.m. on a Wednesday everything is completely dead. Jah knows how much I needed the F word at this point...

So we got into a cab and that was the moment I honestly believed I was going to die. That´s the moment the taxi stops on a red light and I look out the window. There´s a place that looks positively nasty, without a doubt. I stare. He sees me staring and says: "That´s the best strip club in Honolulu". He probably couldn´t even keep up with my hands when I grabbed the wallet, paid for the ride and ripped him of the cab in less than a sec. But I don´t really have to say he loved the idea, of course...

We were in. 2 Stoli & soda later we were sitting by one of the poles. So, there comes a girl, throws a pillow on the floor right in front of us, gets down on her knees and starts to dance. And strip, of course. The girl was actually beautiful. Exceptionally beautiful, I´d say. Jenny! Long blond hair, honey eyes, gorgeous body. So she starts talking to us - which I have come to find out is something very usual in strip clubs: the girls actually make conversation with you while stripping for you. Anyway, it is funny in the beginning, but then she strips off a little more. So it´s not funny, all of a sudden. And then she strips it all off... mmm... the last thing on my mind was that it was funny.

By this time I couldn´t even remember the Alaskan boy - and neither could she, we were in this kind of trance in which she was dancing only for me and I could only see her. And she would come closer, smell me, throw her hair all over me. She smelled like a baby; tasted like grape. When I came to my senses - hahaha, as if I could ever do that - I was almost on stage with her, completely involved.

Her performance was over, there was nothing left for her to take off. I honestly could not remember there was a guy there with me... so I simply got up and went to the little girl´s room. And what was my surprise when I got in and all the "dancers" were inside, changing to go home. Including Jenny, obviously. We looked at each other and started laughing. I opened one of the small doors and got in.

So she pulls one of her friends by the hand, Kashi, a sexy Hawaiian girl, and the three of us got in one of the spaces reserved for wheelchairs. They sit me down on the toilet and give me a very private lap dance. Well, maybe not that private - the other girls heard it and opened the door, turned off the lights and started singing and dancing all together. But of course this position didn´t fit me at all. I had to get up and perform a little too... so I started stripping piece by piece until I was completely naked. At this point I was already dancing on top of the sink while they singed and danced down there. And that´s when the most surreal thing of my perverted life happened: we had a female orgy - a proper orgy, I swear - on the restroom of a strip club! Security guards tried to call us until they realized it was not going to be possible and just had to wait patiently for us. Outside.

When I left, the Alaskan being was waiting for me at the door with the security staff. So we got a cab and headed back to the hotel, mute. The next day, I headed the North Shore first thing in the morning and left any remains of snow behind in Waikiki. I think he doesn´t have a clue about what happened in that bathroom until this day. In fact, I don´t think anyone does - except for me and the girls. Jenny and I keep in touch. ;)