Most of us have doubts about etiquette that make us wish we had a simple guidebook that could save us from embarrassing situations. But in these modern times, certain norms are increasingly forgotten. It always helps to remember a few simple rules that can avoid friction in relationships with friends, business partners, romance or at work.

When we receive an invitation to a party, its good to check the indication for dress for the occasion. It is important to follow this indication. Black-tie is a rigorous category, men in tuxedos and women in long gowns.  If dress is business-formal,  suits and ties are required (light suits for day and dark suits for night) and women should use dresses with sophisticated fabrics such as silk, chiffons and linen. There is also the dressy casual, where a tie is not needed, but jeans are not suitable. Suit pants can be exchanged for pleated slacks. Women should use high heels and a full dress. Finally, there is casual, which allows more simple attire. Men can use sports shirts and slacks, women do not need heels and a light dress is appropriate. For both, jeans are acceptable, as long as they are discrete. Shorts, tank tops, sandals and similar items are not appropriate! Wedding invitations often do not have a dress indication, because it is clear that it is an important date for the bride and groom and guests should be well dressed, with suitable clothes.

If someone stops you at the entrance to a party and only then you remember that you forgot to confirm your presence, don’t get annoyed. RSVPing is more than a question of being polite. It is very important to those who are organizing the party. They need to know the number of guests to know how many drinks are needed, the number of appetizers and individual deserts. If RSVP is written at the bottom of an invitation, you should confirm your presence and that of your date, if you have one and the invitation allows says “and guest”. RSVP are the initials for the French term répondez s’il vous plâit or please respond, and should be taken seriously if you want to help the host or hostess.

A stairway creates constant doubts. Who goes up or down first: the man or woman? On which side? The international rule for stairs is to always go up or down on the right side. Men always go first and women behind, either ascending or descending. If there are any difficulties, such as an older women or a woman with very high heels, it is best for a man to go alongside, or a bit behind, to help in case of unsteadiness.

Brazilians are very affectionate and love to kiss people they have just met. But there are some embarrassing situations, such as business meetings, meeting a boss’s wife, or your partner`s  female lawyer where its probably better not to offer a kiss. It used to be that we just kissed relatives. Now we kiss all our friends. Its not just Brazilians who kiss everyone, the French, Russians and many other Europeans also like to exchange kisses. But it depends on hierarchy, always let the oldest, or the most powerful, set the tone. For two people of the same age and professional situation, it is the woman who indicates if she wants a kiss or a more formal greeting. The side of the first kiss is also important. In Brazil, we first kiss the right side of the face, while Italians, for example, begin on the left. It is important to warn someone if you have a cold and not give a kiss when being presented.

Social locations such as movie theaters and bars also have their restrictions. At the movies, some warnings are made at the beginning of the film. The most important being to turn off cell phones or leave them mute. You can have popcorn during the film or any other food or drink. But respect the cleanliness of the theater, don’t throw anything on the floor during the film. Keep it with you and throw it in the garbage after leaving. You can save a place for your girlfriend who is late or if she went to the bathroom, but never more than one. You can speak with the person next to you during a film, but very quietly. Commentaries about the film always come up, just don’t tell your girlfriend you think Angelina Jolie has nice breasts.

Speaking of noise, respect your neighbors if you live in a condominium or apartment building. You don’t like it when your upstairs neighbor walks around in high heels all day. Remind your girlfriend that your downstairs neighbor could also knock on your door to complain. When it comes to music, remember to treat others as you want them to treat you. Noisy children can drive anyone crazy, even if they are our own. Put some brakes on the kids, even if they are not brats. Children and dogs are tough issues. Our dogs are dear to us because we love them, but no one who we visit should be expected to like these hairy beasts as well. If you have a visitor who doesn`t love animals, be understanding and keep your dog in another place.

Its very important to be discrete when warning someone that their zipper is open or there is lettuce between their teeth. This can make someone uncomfortable, but can be handled well. If the person is distracted and did not realize the lettuce, subtly but calmly let them know, quietly, so only you two can hear. An open pants zipper is more complicated, but a bit of humor can help and just when needed. Never be rude, or say loudly in front of everyone that the “birdie” is going to escape from the cage!

These are some simple tips that are very useful for common situations when at work or socializing. Its good to pass them on to friends and even have your girlfriend give this a read. Being cautious is not always a common tactic, but it is essential to be polite and well educated.