It is hard to generalize for every men and women have different minds and expectations. Some modern couples do not see a problem here: the one with more money pays. If we were talking good manners or etiquette I´d say the correct thing would be the man paying at least on the first or second time. From the third time on, there is, supposedly, enough intimacy for the couple to openly discuss the subject and maybe proposing an arrangement according to their own reality. Considering it is common nowadays seeing women who make more money then men, in that case, should they pay? Do men feel comfortable when the girlfriend or the wife pays? Or does he feel his sexual power is diminished by that? After all, money, sex, and power have always walked side by side. We don´t know the exact boundary to female and male nature and essence. My intuition tells me we should pay close attention because there is a turning point that establishes what is a man and what is a woman. In my opinion, one of the most feminine characteristics I know is the talent women have to care. Every woman, deep down inside, has this maternal instinct ready to be put to use under some circumstances. Men appreciate that, they like being taken care of, the tender bosom and soft hands. This weekend I was with a group of friends at the beach and the difference was pretty evident. All the women had brought towels, bags, sunscreen, and everything they needed for them and the men around them. Men, on the other hand, had brought with them their bathing suits. Period. This is a clear portrait of what I´m trying to show. Women provide comfort. Men like it very much. But there is reciprocity here. Women appreciate a man who can fix things around the house, a man who makes them feel protected. In general, women don´t want a fragile man, they tend to be comfortable around a man who inspires safety. In any way, an old ritual is still valid. Whether women are making more or less money then men, it should be established that the man gets the checks on the first few dates. It is an ancient ritual, which translates the male essence of protection, and maybe it should not be abandoned. It is quite similar to ballroom dance, where the man leads and the woman is conducted. If you analyze that through an extreme point of view, you might come to the conclusion that this way of dancing is sexist. But now I am the one to ask: what are we going to do, stop ballroom dancing? *Sergio Savian is a therapist and a writer. Author of 8 books, among them Love on the Counter-flow. Read more about him and his Relationship School at www.mudancadehabito.com.br or dial + 55 11 3057 3133.