There are an increasing number of people who do not want, or are not able, to engage in romance. What is happening? Why is it so difficult to maintain a relationship these days?

It seems that much of humanity has been contaminated by a type of allergy to intimacy, a growing behavior among men, but which is also found among women. Commitment, necessary to establishing a romance, is seen to be threatening, bothersome and for many people simply unbearable.

Love is increasingly more fluid and slips out of our hands. People may date, "go out", experiment, but quickly lose interest in one another.

There are many factors that determine this new behavior: the influence of the communication media, the culture of comfort, difficulty in dealing with imperfections, confusion in masculine and feminine roles, all of this contributes to a lack of loving relationships at the beginning of this century.

"You don´t have to be alone", as long as you understand the nature of human relationships, give up your idealizations and learn to see love with your feet on the ground. I am not saying that a candlelight dinner, flowers, surprises and other amenities are dispensable. They are great, but only part of the story. If we don"t have the ability to confront difficult moments, to face the pain that characterizes the growth and resolution of conflicts, if we are always hostage to fear and the need for approval, we will not be able to establish a quality bond.
Sergio Savian is a relationship counselor and therapist for 27 years and the author of "Amar vale a pena", [Love is worth it] published by Editora Landscape. He gives speeches throughout Brazil and around the world in countries including Switzerland, Germany, Spain, Mexico, Venezuela, Argentina and the Dominican Republic, motivating people to re-educate their hearts. Savian is regularly quoted in the media about behavior in the 21st century.