Avoid piercing another person with a look, because the person may feel threatened. There is no problem in looking directly into a person’s eyes, as long as you get a good sense of the other person.

Be careful, however, with eyes directed at the sexual organs of another person. This may be indelicate and gross. Save this until sexual intimacy is established.

Play with your eyes. Smile with your eyes. Let the other person sense your interest.

There are people who really want to talk, but won’t let themselves be coaxed. Because of pride, fear or shyness, they express disinterest. Be patient, pay attention and insist a bit on the contact. This may make a shy creature feel appreciated. She knows deep down that you are facilitating things. If you don’t insist, she won’t yield.

Eye contact says that you are interested, and the amount of time that you look is important.

Some Americans measured the time that two people exchanged looks until the other realized their interest. They said, if neither party is moving, three seconds is an ideal time to make it clear that you want something. Therefore, count to yourself: one, two, three, making the first contact, and then change the direction of your eyes. If you are moving and the other person is not, the time drops to two seconds. This is enough to make your intention clear. The right dose is that which says “I am watching you” and “I see that you see me”. Try to establish this contact, and hopefully, it will be corresponded after the first try.  But, if the other person is one of those who won’t look easily, insist a bit. And just like you made a first contact, make a second, just to confirm interest. The second contact can be a bit slower. Once the interest of both parties is revealed, it’s time to take the next step. But if you notice that the situation is difficult and the other person doesn’t open a communication channel, think of the possibility of leaving her alone. Give up for a moment. Alter your attention. Change the game. Perhaps she will change her mind!

There are many factors that can make flirting very special, but intriguing eye contact is certainly the most precise and efficient tool for beginning.

This text was taken from the book Paquera: brincadeira de gente grande [Flirting and meeting people: a game for grownups], which is required reading for people who want to improve on the art of conquest. You can find it in the best bookstores, or on the author’s site www.sergiosavian.com.br