Valentine´s Day is celebrated this weekend in Brazil (June 12th) and despite all the omance in the air (for some), many are actually thinking about breaking up and starting a new phase in life.

In an interview for a Brazilian website, author Sergio Savian talks mainly about this subject: breaking up and the main difficulties which it involves. Read his answers to the most frequently asked questions below.


EMOTIONAL
What are the main difficulties of a man after the break-up?
It actually depends on how the relationship ended. If the decision of breaking-up was yours, it should be easier to move on. But as 80% of divorces are asked by the women, what we can conclude is that men are ´abandoned´ in most of the cases. With it comes the rejection feelings – which are never pleasant.

How can I organize my time and not missing the relationship routine so much?
In the beginning it is important to talk to your friends and interact socially. In many cases there is a necessity of therapy sessions, which makes healing faster and more natural. Practising sports, going to cultural events and developing new hobbies are great helpers in this phase.

What to do when depressive feelings happen?
Family is probably one of the most important matters here. The emotional support provided by family members is fundamental so men won´t feel too sad or do things they regret later.

What to do if I had kids?
Kids deserve special attention when this happens. Make sure the discussion with your ex doesn´t affect them so much – or affect them the least possible. Talk to your kids and explain to them that the divorce won´t affect the way you feel towards them nor your presence in their lives. It is important for them to know they can always count on you.

When do I know it is not worth trying any more?
If after long talks and different trials you realise that nothing changes, maybe it is time one of you – or both – give up and think about a future apart.

What are the tips on retrieving old friendships?
It is much easier to get in touch nowadays, what with the social networks and all. On the other hand, the moment is also good for you to open up and meet new people. In one way or the other, your social and romantic lives should be given special attention.



APPEARANCE
Looking good should help on my new life?
Definitely. It is pretty common for men to relax when it comes to their looks after they marry or when they are into a solid relationship. When that ends, it is a good idea to take a good look at yourself and see if you don´t need some extra caring. This will certainly help with your self-esteem and attractiveness.

Should I join the gym?
Physical exercises are great for your health and still give you the boost you need when it comes to changing your lifestyle and meeting new people. You don´t necessarily need to join a gym, but try to go out and practice jogging, tennis, soccer and preferably team sports so you won´t be on your own for too long.



A NEW ´ME´
How to go back on the market?
This is depend on your sexual appetite. Some men take more time than others when it comes to leaving the past behind and starting on a new leaf. When you feel ready, invite some friends to a night out. Go out, be seen, look good. You´ll have attentions turned to you rather than later – especially if you hang out with nice friends and seem happy and light. Just beware: don´t go trying to bed every girl you meet. This might create a mess in your routine and the least you want now are ladies calling you and putting pressure on you because you haven´t called them yet and it´s the weekend again.

Should I call the ladies I´ve met before?
This might be a good idea if it´s hard to meet new people, but I would say they might not be interest or available after the time you´ve spent being committed to your old partner. So try and be more creative. Think present – not past!

How can I tell a hottie I am not after a serious relationship?
Women have changed and chances are you won´t have too much trouble when it comes to letting them know you´re not into serious relationships right now. Try to give them hints while you talk. This should be enough to make her understand you like her – but only for one night stands – at least for now. Don´t make promises only because she puts pressure on you. If that happens and you don´t feel comfortable with it, back out. There are more women out there and you´re not that desperate, are you? Tell her the truth: you´re just out of a relationship and you need some time before trying something serious again. She´ll hopefully understand your position.

How do I know when it´s time for a new trial?
Only you can decide that and nothing better to know if you´re ready to date than the way you feel. Just pay attention to your feelings and don´t go after what other people say if you don´t agree with them. It´s your routine and your happiness we´re dealing with here – so be true to yourself.


SOCIAL NETWORKS
Should I keep my ex as my friend on the social networks or maybe delete her?
Now that´s a tricky one. It actually depends on how you´re both dealing with your break-up. Is she too possessive? Jealous? Is she mad at you still? Do you keep arguing. Does she keep coming after you even though you´re told her it´s over for good? Then maybe it´s best to keep her away from you and your stuff. Otherwise she´ll be checking your profile every two minutes and trying to control all your moves online. Think about it: if she acts that way, maybe it is even better if you delete her from your list of friends so she won´t be suffering so much when you decide adding new women to your list and things like that.