Why stay in the comfort zone? Why follow all the rules that they tell us are right? After all, who said they were right? Sometimes we face situations that require questioning what is right and what is wrong. And what is right for me, may often not be right for you, isn’t that true?

That’s how it is with the men in our life. There is always someone who says that women love to suffer, love rotten men and are attracted by danger. Then there is that nonsense that we hear so often: no one wants a good man. All women love to be pampered, spoiled and cared for when they feel alone. Hey girl, that’s when you turn to your side, see that guy sitting on the sofa watching the game and think that at times staying in the comfort zone is really necessary. No one needs a clinging man murmuring in your ear all day, “I love you, I want you, I worship you.” Is there a middle ground?

I often say that it is a woman that spoils a man. Spoil in the following sense: makes the guy fall completely in love; leaves their mother and grandmother enchanted with the world’s best son-in-law; makes plans; travels; leaves her girl friends; enjoys his friends and one fine day, wakes up thinking that it’s all wrong. Calls the guy, says that she’s confused and wants some time to think. The poor guy is confused, unable to work, goes to the bar to drink and still gets a kick in the ass on the weekend. Then, she goes out looking gorgeous and powerful to a party with friends; chats up his friends (the same ones that she criticized and cut out of his life) and leaves the guy at home climbing the walls and steaming with anger. You know who pays for all of this? Your next girlfriend, who will live in the shadow of that ex who left you bitter for a few months, made you stay clear of great potential girlfriends and still shows acting sweet from time to time – just when you nearly forgot that she existed and are just fine with that sensational physical therapist who is your cousin’s friend.

This habit of always generalizing gets out of hand. Not all women will do with you what the ex-best girlfriend in the world did. It’s hard to accept this. It won’t help at all comparing all the women with her; after all, if she wasn’t good for you, do you want to bring her back. There are guys who love women who are attracted by danger, those who answer the phone whenever they want; who go to parties during the week, while you go to bed early to work the next day; and who still label all your friends, forcing you to leave them aside.

If you were really made to be this perfect son-in-law, friend of your friends, loving and attentive boyfriend, don’t think that being different is going to improve anything. Being the jerk who goes out with all the girls is not the type of man who we want to call “ours.” You know that perfect girlfriend that you left, who called you crying, asking you to come back, and you simply let her go? Well, she is well married, has gorgeous kids and is very successful. Was it really worth it to get out of the comfort zone and have chosen that woman who was attracted by danger?