Why is this stereotype repeated? Why does everyone think that when a woman is saying no she is just being difficult or wants to protect her image? Many times no means exactly that: no!

Sure women like to be flattered to feel respected. There are even those who go to extremes and leave a number of men, simultaneously, with their chins dropped, just to boost their ego. But remember this is not exclusive to the feminine kind, but is an attitude of affirmation for people who need a stronger dose of attention.

It’s heard around the world, this idea that “no means yes.” Those who are sincere pay for those who are always living out dramas, as if in a song or a movie. Everyone has their own story of someone who said no meaning to say yes, but could not because of vanity. And what happens next? Men and women are traumatized by the ghosts of others and pay this price for a long time.

Deep down, nearly all of us are hurt when someone responds with a blatant no. That guy who went away but wanted to stay, but who isn’t so easy to conquer, even if he wanted to be. Men, by instinct, usually love this battle, the conquest. It’s a question of honor after a million rejections to achieve a hard sought date. But boys, you are the ones who most often make things complicated. Women say no for an obvious reason! And if you still haven’t realized, you should pay more attention to the signs. Then you say that we are clinging when we become girlfriends and “no” is only used in extremes.

If you have a sister at home it’s easier to try to understand. A guy goes after your sister until she gives him a chance for a sushi in the middle of the week. Perhaps she is needy because her old boyfriend is still haunting her dreams and she agrees to give the new one a chance. This is a neutral point. Discussions, cell phone messages, e-mail, MSN, Orkut -  an explosion of communication. They meet in public places and act in accord with the people around them: if it’s her friends, the guy is very sweet, if it’s his friends, he is cold! Then he calls with a thorny excuse saying that one of his friends is the cousin of his ex-girlfriend and didn’t want her to call to disturb the peace of everything going so well between them. Going so well? If the guy is serious, he affirms himself! No excuses. Then the scale tips. For women, it’s clear. And then comes the No that perhaps nearly always, means yes. I guarantee you are going to speak poorly of this guy, right? After all, she’s your sister, and not the gorgeous girl next door.

As much as the emotion of being in love is capturing a couple, there is a moment when reason whispers in our ear. Perhaps you wake up one day and see that your girlfriend changed, is indifferent to the things that you usually do. This is the sign that something has happened. It is certainly not reassuring. And one of the parties is going to have to act rationally and perhaps say no. “I don’t want to go out with you anymore, I don’t like you anymore, I don’t love you like before.”  This is hard for both. And perhaps one day you will thank this person for this honest no, because today you are better off for it, happier, with someone who you really click with. And the no came at the right time.

However, you may have acted rashly and let that person pass by who’ll be on your mind for the rest of your life. Why did you say no when you didn’t mean it? You let yourself be influenced by friends, thought the no would last a long time and escape before you would puff your chest and say out loud: I really love you!

So stop thinking that women say no just to torment you. No can really mean no! Don’t keep insisting on relationships that begin with problems, limitations and doubt. If you think that you’re really passionate about this woman (women here would say love of their life), don’t make someone move a mountain for you and then leave them inconsolable (remember your sister). Be sincere with yourself and accept no, to be able to appreciate a yes. After all, the sweet is not as sweet without the bitter, right?