Needy me!
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Needy me!

Needy, needy, needy! This word is responsible for lots of trouble in the relationships´ world nowadays. Why is that, I ask? I guess it is all due to the simple fact that many people try to feed their own needs by using other people, by trying to mold the other person as the ideal to oneself.

Think about it, it you are not perfect (and no one is), why does the other have to be? This idea of opposite attaraction is pure clichè. Have you ever bought something that has nothing to do with you? Ok, some of you might have, but most of us wouldn´t actually like spending our money on things which do not please us one bit. So why are you going to go out with someone or to start a romantic relationship with a person who has nothing or very little to do with you? Just because you miss being with a partner?

When you search something or someone as a complement to your issues, that most probably will not work well. Actually, the word complement might not be the best to be used in this case. After all, when you date someone, you and this person complement each other – in a good way. I guess I wanted to talk about this adaptation period we all go through until we get to know each other a little better. For everything in life it is compulsory to know how to give in, to adapt. And when it comes to love it is not different.

Searching in other people what you don´t have yourself is starting with the wrong foot. That is fear or insecurity in wanting to learn with your own mistakes. Are you feeling needy? Go somewhere, travel, have fun, read a book, learn to put your flaws into testing and deal with them. No one´s perfect, you know?! You aren´t either. Try to start dealing with your own problems so one day, when the right person shows up, you are able to enjoy your time together completing each other in a different way.

I don´t want to seem cold here. Being with someone is a pretty cool thing when it comes to sharing moments, experiences and ideas. Loving each other is also loving you partner´s flaws and difficulties. The main thing here is to know the right moment to jump onto that phase in life.

I see people jumping from one relationship to another because they say they cannot spend time on their own or because people who go out at nightclubs are too superficial. Has anyone told you that you have to score each time you go out? That is one of the signs which show human beings are needy most of times. Try to start thinking less about what other people think of you or what society expects from you and start thinking about yourself, your preferences and on what makes you happy.

Remember: love cannot be used nor bought. Love is allowance. Are you looking for the perfect partner? Read the horoscopes. Are you willing to actually spend your life beside someone you love? Learn how to respect yourself.

Gustavo Sana

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