Life is made of excuses
If you think about it, life is filled with excuses. Not the excuses we ask when we sneeze, or when there is someone standing between ourselves and our destination. I am talking about the excuses we give when we don’t feel like going out with that friend, for example. You are probably already thinking about the many excuses you use on a daily basis to run away from boring dinners or annoying parties.
I’ve been in the phase of excuses. That has been probably happening because I have a 4-year-old at home. She’s a very energetic child, and I need to have some excuses at the tip of my tongue when I need to say no to people I’m not very close to. If you’re a parent, I’m sure you understand me. Taking a kid to a sophisticated place means feeling embarrassed most of the time. My childless friends think I’m an inconsiderate friend…
When I observe the people around me, I usually realize that the excuses start to become part of your daily routine once you start a family, once the routine of your house goes through some changes. No matter if your family is composed by two people, or 10. Keeping comfortable, quality home is, nowadays, quite expensive.
Going out for dinner in a fancy restaurant is also expensive. Sometimes a simple meal costs the same as the expresso machine you want to buy so badly, or maybe just a bit less than the air-conditioning installation you have been avoiding, even though it is almost Summer. That is when the excuses are welcome, because most of us don’t like admitting to our pals we can’t afford everything we’d like (and they are probably going through the same, believe me).
If you think about it, why do we care so much about other people’s opinions? Why do we need so many excuses? Surely it’ not a problem to tell a colleague that you don’t feel like going out for dinner, or maybe you’re too tired or don’t want to go on that trip. After we leave our parents’ house, we start to understand the deprivation a family goes through in order to keep all the comfort and lifestyle.
Of course there are people who are much more into spending their money in social life rather than in a car, a house or a trip. And there are also those who are rich enough not to worry about having to choose between one or the other. I am well aware that there are also people who actually like having their partners paying for everything they have or do.
It’s okay to have your list of excuses, you can even think about new ones so you won’t use the same one twice. You still have the option of being honest, and refusing an invitation without having to explain your decision. It’s your call!
No one should be criticized, no one should have to feel guilty for making a choice. Yes, your friends will have to respect your position. And if they don’t, they are probably not very good friends. And if they still insist, do this: ask them to pay for your portion!